


Angst for Everyone ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

by hatefulofsorrow



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 09:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6606400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatefulofsorrow/pseuds/hatefulofsorrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So this is just something I wrote a while back before the S3 finale after I watched the preview for it. At the time I thought if Jelena was telling Zero he was getting cut from the team like what would happen. I had thought Oscar would have more to do with it but that ended up not being the case. This started with Jude telling Zero he talked to Oscar and got the trade cancelled.</p>
<p> p.s there some smut in this and it’s the first time i’ve written that so I apologize if it’s awkward…like idk I just can’t write that stuff well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angst for Everyone ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Jude rushed through the door to escape the rain that was beginning to trickle down from the now darkened sky. It was late and Zero sat on the edge of the couch waiting anxiously for Jude to come back. Jude looked at Zero taking a moment to memorize every loving part of him he could see. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

“You’re back on the team,” he said trying to sound happy. Zero released the breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding. 

“Thank God,” he sighed in relief. “Jude…JUDE!” He got up quickly and reached out to hold Jude in his arms smiling ear to ear. He felt so relieved and happy. When Jelena told him about how Oscar would cut him from the team he felt his whole world slip out from under his feet. Basketball was everything to him and he couldn’t imagine losing it. Zero hadn’t believed Jude when he said he would fix it but he had come through like always and Zero felt ashamed of ever doubting him. He held Jude tightly in his arms and caressed his cheek as he kissed him deeply. Jude gave him a smile but his eyes shone sadness. Zero then realized what it meant. He led him to the couch and tried his best to soothe him. 

“Hey, listen I know this couldn’t have been for free. Oscar isn’t exactly the type to do things out of the goodness of his heart so I know this must have cost you.” He looked on at Jude who wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Whatever he asks of you…I’ll do it. I’ll do everything.” He cupped Jude’s hands in his own and touching them softly said, “You don’t have to worry. You don’t have to get your hands dirty. I’ll take on everything myself.” He picked up Jude’s hands to kiss them. “It’s you and me remember. As long as we have each other, even if it’s us against the world we’ll be ok.” Zero was trying so hard to illicit a reaction from Jude who just continued to look down. 

Jude pulled away refusing to make eye contact or speak. The silence between them was painful. The humidity from the rain outside had crept in and made everything feel heavier and foggy. Zero could hear Jude faintly whisper, “There is no us.”

“What?” Zero questioned not believing what he had just heard or if he had heard anything at all. Jude took a deep breath and looked up with a defeated smile.

“It’s a condition of your return.” There was a long pause before Jude continued, “He said I needed to understand that I couldn’t put my hands on his things. The Devils are his and I need to learn my place. So we can’t…” Jude trailed off unable to even finish his sentence. “But it’s ok.” he continued. “We can just…go back….to how we were before. We were just friends and we can……go back.” Jude was smiling at Zero trying to reassure him? Trying to convince himself that it would be ok? Trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over at any second? Zero couldn’t tell. He just stared at Jude unable to process the idea of a life without him or even a life with him as just a friend. 

The air was thick and he was slowly choking on the words coming from Jude’s smiling lips. ‘Shut up,’ he thought, ‘you shouldn’t be smiling. How is this ok? I can’t go back how can you? I can’t live without you. Stop smiling!’ 

“I’ve already agreed with Oscar’s terms so there’s no need for you to worry about this anymore.” Jude’s words were cold and distant. 

“How could you-” Zero began but Jude interrupted him quickly as if he didn’t want to hear what Zero had to say. 

“Well, I know you. I know what basketball and this team mean to you. You’ve sacrificed so much and given so much of yourself along the way. I know you can’t lose it. The moment Oscar told me, I knew how this would end so I accepted it for you. You don’t have to come back here and you should…give me my key back.” Jude was speaking frantically wanting the agony of this moment to be over as quickly as possible so he could finally breathe again. He still had that fake sad small smile plastered on his face as he rummaged in his pocket to take out his key chain. He got Zero’s key off the ring and handed it back to him. “Here,” he said coldly. Zero looked at the key in Jude’s hand. All he could think was how happy Jude was when he gave it to him and how he smiled brighter than anything Zero had ever seen making his love for the man deepen even further. He never imagined anyone ever wanting him the way Jude had. Something that seemed as simple as a key to Zero seemed to make Jude beam with warmth and affection. Now the person in front of him was handing his heart back to him. Jude placed the key in Zero’s hand who was just staring at it unmoving. 

“Look,” he began as he removed his key from Zero’s key ring sitting that was sitting on the coffee table, “I’ll be fine without you and you’ll be fine without me. We can just go back to being friends. It’ll be fine. It’s not the end of the world.” Jude looked away as the smile finally faded from his face. 

He was hurting and that smile was his last bit of armor. The last thing keeping him from falling apart completely and clinging to Zero trying to beg him to chose him no them over his career. But he knew he could’t do that. He couldn’t ask that of Zero especially since he had already given him so much. Jude never thought anyone would want him the way Zero had. He never thought anyone would care about his happiness much less actually try to make him happy. Jude had been cold, broken and alone and Zero showed him warmth, affection and love. That’s why he could do this. That’s why he could wear that small sad smile and say the things he was saying, because Zero had done so much for him and this was the only way he knew to protect him and his dream.

By this time the rain had already grown from that initial trickle to a healthy downpour. The sounds of thunder seemed to reverberate and vibrate the air around them. Zero broke the silence hanging between them. 

“You’ll be fine huh?” he said not hiding his anger. Jude had never heard his words take such a harsh cold tone before. Like they were a curse meant to maim. Zero laughed, though he seemed unamused, and got up quickly. Jude tried to stand but Zero leaned over, stopped him and with a biting voice said, “Don’t bother buddy”. He roughly patted Jude’s shoulder the way male friends do and walked out into the rain after grabbing his keys that Jude had placed back on the table after stripping its most important one.

Once Zero was gone Jude grabbed the small decorative pillow next to him and began to sob. Finally. Finally it was over and he could fall apart. Finally he could crumble and let go of everything he had so desperately been trying to hold together since he walked through the door. His loud sobs were stifled by the pillow but his whole body shook with sadness as he realized he would never recover from this.

Zero slowly made it to his car and pushed the damp hair out of his face. He banged his hands against the steering wheel in anger. He understood why Jude had done this but he couldn’t drive off. Leaning his head back against the headrest he started laughing to himself as a tear dripped down his cheek. “You’ll be fine huh?” he asked again to no one with only the sound of the raindrops hitting the metal of his car to answer him back. He closed his eyes and whispered ever so lightly into the world, “I won’t”.

 

Jude didn’t notice when the door had opened again. By this time he was gasping for air unable to catch his breath. He was still holding that now hot damp pillow against his cheek refusing to let it go like it could save him. Zero looked at Jude with a sorrowful and pained expression before shutting the door behind him making his presence known. “How is this ok?” he said as his voice broke and he lunged forward to take Jude in his arms. He ripped the pillow away from Jude and Jude’s eyes grew wide with disbelief. 

“No. We can’t-” Jude protested before he was shut up with a kiss. Zero held him tightly against himself. Zero’s wet clothes clung to his frame and began to dampen Jude’s as well. His body was cold from the rain while Jude’s was warm and feverish from breaking down. Zero’s kiss breathed life back in to Jude who clung to him desperately never wanting to part. Jude’s warm body beckoned to Zero as he started stripping their clothes.

‘Why’ Zero thought to himself as he began to lick Jude’s jawline and kiss and suck on his neck. He worked his way down the man’s soft chest. ‘Why do I have to choose?’ Basketball saved his life. It offered him a way out of that horrible place and gave him something to work for. Those people, Carla and Leo, took everything from him. They took his motivation, happiness, childhood, ambition, faith and hope. They wanted him to leave with nothing and as nothing. Basketball gave him a life and a way to reclaim himself from them. To show them that they had indeed not taken everything from him. It was the only thing he had ever allowed himself to want and dream of. But Jude? Jude was the love of his life. Jude made him feel like he was worthy of all the things that he secretly wanted but felt undeserving of. Zero didn’t believe in love before Jude. He believed in cruelty, anger and put his faith in spite. Jude showed him this bright world full of vibrancy and joy and he couldn’t go back. How can you go back to darkness when you’ve known the warmth of the sun for the first time and realized how much you needed it? Zero was merely surviving before Jude inspired him to want to live. Basketball gave his life purpose but Jude gave it meaning. So what could he do? If they didn’t comply, Oscar could ruin his career and make sure no other team would even touch him but, how could he possibly live without Jude. 

Zero turned Jude over after preparing him and pushed inside of him. He pulled out slowly and slammed into him again making Jude tremble and shiver with pleasure. Over and over again Zero invaded Jude’s body caressing his back with his hands tracing some of his more prominent moles and kissing them tenderly. Zero leaned forward still thrusting inside him and tugged on Jude’s chin bringing his face close enough to kiss him passionately and desperately. 

“I love you, I love you” he chanted as he repeatedly bucked his hips pinning Jude down. Jude was losing himself in pleasure and as Zero pulled his kiss away he could feel his cheek wet. He couldn’t tell if it was from Zero’s still rain soaked hair, sweat or tears and, admittedly, he didn’t want to know.


End file.
